Reinforcing Rest
When Alison and I first planted this Vineyard we wanted to try and avoid being a church of meetings as much as possible. Some years later we now find that we have a full diary and a full programme of things going on. On the one hand all very exciting, on the other hand exhausting and perhaps distracting from our purpose and vision.
So I would like to re-state some of principles which are important for us and which may help ensure that being part of this Vineyard does not add to your stress levels and take you out of your God given boundaries.
Opt out
We try and design our programme and events around invitation not around a 3 line whip. You are free to opt in or opt out of anything. That means you can choose to sit at the back and read the paper or you can choose not to go to things at all. If you are here then I assume you choose to be here. You may not feel like being here but you may choose to be here because you know you need to be for your “inner person”.
Of course, most of you are on rotas to serve and to that extent you graciously forego your right to opt out in order to serve others and enable them to opt out. Your turn will come.
Some of us find people-time more or less replenishing. Some just go to anything where there are other people because you love it and feel rejuvenated as a result. For others, after a couple of meetings in a week you can’t face weekly worship or the Gathering. That’s fine – go and renew your inner person in some other way.
Relationship not attendance
Faith is about following Jesus and learning to be his disciple. It is not about how often you attend meetings. I count how many people come so that I can plan ahead for seating and hot drinks. But I don’t gauge where you are with the Lord just by attendance.
Eat at home
A la 2 Cor 4:16, you need to eat at home – look after your devotional life yourself. Yes you can enjoy worship and teaching and ministry at meetings and events. But after you have been part of this family for a while you can come with a full stomach (spiritually) and with spare food to share – rather than always be looking for this to be the place where you are fed.
Foster non-church relationships
One of the dangers of a busy programme is that we can get wrapped up in a sort of church social life which subtly draws us away from maintaining relationships with others not in the church (family, friends, work colleagues, neighbours).
Sabbath day
One of the most adamant commands in the OT, repeated again and again, is the need for taking a day off. That may be Sunday if it is truly a restful and alternative day. If not, find another way to have a day of rest.
Not a vacuum
The programme and calendar we run is not the opposite of a vacuum. In other words, we are not saying that if you aren’t in the programme you are in a vacuum. Not at all. The various things we do together are there to serve you, equip you, minister to you. But when you are not there you are still a follower of Jesus listening to him, attending to your “inner person”, active in ministry in the kingdom. You are not in neutral waiting to engage a gear again.
If this is our approach as a community of faith, as an organisation, as a church how do we work it out?
Opt out
I have already explained what I mean by opt out. So we facilitate that by having things arranged so that you can opt in or out easily. We use language which allows it – “I invite you to join in”, “Feel free to sit…”. Not, “Where were you last Sunday?” etc.
Although in housegroups we would keep in touch with people to check that they are OK, we won’t demand attendance from them.
Frankly this can be very frustrating – because if you give people the opportunity to opt out, guess what, they will. Which is tough when you have spent hours preparing something really special.
One way this works out is that some of you have settled to a pattern – some of you love going to everything. When we open the doors you are there. Others will go on the 1st weekend and the 3rd weekend and will serve on the 4th weekend (for example). Or various other combinations.
5th Sundays
Our habit is to keep 5th Sundays free. This is a deliberate attempt to force some daylight into a crowded calendar. We avoid setting up formal Vineyard events on these weekends. Of course you can organise your own social and personal things – but preferably stuff that does not go on the web site and doesn’t get advertised.
By doing this we are:
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Giving our leaders and staff a regular weekend off
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Helping you, some time ahead, plan your diary with weekends away, visits to family, opportunities to catch up at home
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Saying, “Remember, that is not a vacuum, there is much that needs doing in your life as a follower of Jesus that does not involve going to weekly worship, here is one weekend we prepared earlier for you to use!”
August
Again, our tradition is to keep August free of a formal programme. For similar reasons as the 5th Sunday but also because:
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Numbers fall off over the summer and it is harder to run events well;
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The leaders need a break to think and plan and pray about the following year;
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It provides an opportunity for teams and housegroups and ministries to re-jig and re-group. A good time to stop one thing and start another;
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It makes the September re-start a special and fun time as we all get together again.
By all means arrange picnics in the park, BBQs and parties – indeed we have the Ashburnham Festival. But we don’t run Sunday events and we release the housegroups to stop too.
Sabbath Days
We try and model taking a day off. Alison and I shut up shop, or try to, on Wednesdays – both for my business and for the Vineyard. It is the day we do our personal finances, visit parents, wash the car, go for a walk, watch a film.
The pastoral staff are paid for the time they are here on Sundays so we require them to take a day off some other time. Usually, if they have young children, they do that on a Saturday.
Although, as we grow, there will be lots going on and often several things going on at once, you don’t have to do them all. You don’t have to come to weekly worship each week – unless you think that is right for you.
You are responsible for both your jar of clay and for attending to the “inner person”, the life of Christ within. Being renewed day by day. For looking after yourself (see below for the talk, “Looking after it – yourself” based 2 Corinthians 4).
What helps you do that the most? Use the ministry of this community of faith to equip you and bless you to be an effective follower of Jesus – and that means taking a regular rest from programmes and attendance. You are responsible for looking after yourself and we try and help you by building a reinforcement of rest into the way we do things.
David Flowers
June 2007
David Flowers, 25/06/2007