Timing is a wonderful thing. The difference between a hilarious joke and one that falls flat with an audience is in the timing. Sporting commentators frequently talk about a well timed shot or tackle, with a “late” tackle being frowned upon and at times dangerous. The art of baking a perfect cake I am told is in the timing. Whilst eating said cake it is thought to be nicer to eat at certain times a day than others. The relatively recent craze of “photobombing” requires perfect timing.
We think carefully about timing that difficult conversation with a work colleague or relative, “when will my news be best received” we ask? Our days and weeks are broken down into timetables structuring when we work and when we rest. In medicine timing is essential, patients have to take the right dose of medicine at the right time. Knowing the time is never more than a question away, and life would be so much simpler if only I had more time!
What’s your narrative about time? Are you someone who feels you are constantly busier than you would like to be and there is never enough time? Or are you someone who deliberately packs your time full of activity and busyness. Why is that? Or does time pass slowly and you wish you had more to fill your time?
Taking another angle, are you stressed about being on time, or are you relaxed and don’t worry too much about being late? Either way, what’s going on behind those different attitudes to time?
My big thing is that I feel I have to be in control of my time. I never want to be late. I hate it when my plans don’t happen at the time I want them to. This week I was speaking to Nomi my wife about this and she reminded me of when my sister got married. A whole year before the wedding I was talking about where to park to ensure we saved time. That’s my narrative about time, and I’ve been thinking – is that all good? Is it a good narrative or a false narrative, or a bit of both? And how do I relate my time to God? As a boy scout I was always told to be prepared, to plan for all outcomes. Whilst there is great wisdom in planning and preparation, my experience of taking control and not relying on God has at best meant that the outcomes were not at their greatest and at worst meant I have completely missed what God is doing in my life.
If you are like me, and like to plan even the smallest details of your life then the concept of releasing timing and control to God is not one that sits easy with you. Furthermore, when those man-made plans unravel and fail, we are left lost, confused, hurt and at times angry towards God for why he hasn’t helped our plans to become a reality. So much of my life is set around the question of when, that I can miss the how and the journey that God may have planned for us.
Being in control and worrying about time can manifest itself in a variety of ways. Perhaps for you it is the pressure of getting out for work in the morning, dealing with the rush hour traffic or getting the kids to school. Perhaps you face great uncertainty in the future, with ill health, uncertain job security or with relationships breaking down.
A few years back as Nomi my wife finished Med School we had made great plans that involved Nomi getting a job in West Yorkshire and us progressing our lives and careers along the smooth trajectory we had in mind. I saw no reason why this would not take place, for we had settled nicely into our home and community, I was loving my job, we loved being part of this church and were forming some amazing friendships. Surely it was God’s plan to keep us here and provide the perfect job for Nomi in Leeds. Right? Unfortunately not. Nomi got a job in East Yorkshire which meant two years of working in Hull and the Scunthorpe.
Our immediate reaction was one of devastation. We thought we would have to move away from Leeds, our friends and community, find a new house and that I would need to find a new job. At first I refused to accept what was going on, I wanted to keep rechecking the computer system that told applicants where they were posted, surely there was a mistake. I researched high and low as to how we could appeal the decision, desperately trying to regain control.
This is my natural response to most crisis situations, I desperately try to fix it, even if it isn’t fixable. That night we went to leadership school and I sat there angry with God, for this clearly was not the plan. Well at least it wasn’t my plan. After some amazing prayers and support from our community here, we both concluded that perhaps we could make it work. The two years that followed were very tough at times. Nomi had a 120 mile round trip each day, we had less time to spend with each other, and when we did we were often very tired. We were less able to be involved in church in the way we wanted, and to support Nomi I had to take on far more of the household chores whilst also balancing a busy and time consuming job.
However throughout the two years God did some amazing things. We learnt to trust God more, what we thought was unmanageable became manageable. God blessed our relationship as we released control to him. We learnt to communicate better and to appreciate the time we had with each other. Our relationship with each other and with God was both stretched and grown as we moved out of our comfort zone and released control to him. Nomi was blessed with some fantastic learning experiences in her work that have shaped and influenced her work as a doctor. I learnt what it meant to be a supportive husband rather than one that wanted to take control and solve any problems when they occurred. Some of the things we learnt were to adapt our lives, to listen to what God was saying at that moment, and to place boundaries to ensure that we allocated appropriate time to each other and to God.
And we still don’t always get it right! Where we had previously said yes to things we had to say no. This was far from easy at times, and we made many mistakes along the way, but looking back we can see the season as a clear part of God’s plan. A few years later Nomi is back in West Yorkshire and loving the job God has provided for her here. God had a plan!
As I prepared for this talk I found myself reading the book of Ecclesiastes. Now a word of warning, the book of Ecclesiastes on the face of it is not an easy read. It’s an anonymous book of wisdom, which the Rabbis traditionally say was written by King Solomon in his old age. What is written is predominantly an observation on human life on earth and the toils and troubles experienced by all. The message presents a somewhat negative view of human life often describing it as meaningless or useless. However, what it says underneath the difficult prose is a message of hope and a timely reminder that true joy and meaning in life comes from placing God at the centre. Chapter 3 presents a thought provoking and challenge message that there is an appropriate time for all of life’s experiences.
Let’s have a look at what it says.
3 For everything there is a season,
a time for every activity under heaven.
2 A time to be born and a time to die.
A time to plant and a time to harvest.
3 A time to kill and a time to heal.
A time to tear down and a time to build up.
4 A time to cry and a time to laugh.
A time to grieve and a time to dance.
5 A time to scatter stones and a time to gather stones.
A time to embrace and a time to turn away.
6 A time to search and a time to quit searching.
A time to keep and a time to throw away.
7 A time to tear and a time to mend.
A time to be quiet and a time to speak.
8 A time to love and a time to hate.
A time for war and a time for peace.
9 What do people really get for all their hard work? 10 I have seen the burden God has placed on us all. 11 Yet God has made everything beautiful for its own time. He has planted eternity in the human heart, but even so, people cannot see the whole scope of God’s work from beginning to end. 12 So I concluded there is nothing better than to be happy and enjoy ourselves as long as we can. 13 And people should eat and drink and enjoy the fruits of their labor, for these are gifts from God.
The passage starts out by highlighting some of the inevitabilities of life. Our life on earth is limited. Life has a clear start and end, however, the journey in-between these two dates, is like a rollercoaster of ups and downs. Throughout the passage we see stark contrasts between the highs and lows of life. One of the subjects I teach at school is Media Studies. In Media Studies, we often talk about how what we call Binary Opposites. These are used in texts to reinforce meaning. A binary opposite is when two theoretical opposites are set of against one another. For example; Love and Hate, Good and Evil, Life and Death.
In the passage we see binary opposites being used to emphasise the inevitability of both good and bad times in our lives. A time to cry and a time to laugh, a time to grieve and a time to dance, a time to be quiet and a time to speak. I am sure you can look at your own lives and identify many of the periods of times described in the passage. Some of the times we can plan and work towards, other’s are completely out of our control, and some are the long-term consequences of choices we made in the past. We recently bought our first house, after years of saving we have entered into a phase of great spending. This change was relatively planned and controlled, however I have quickly realised that there is a large amount of unpredictability in owning a house. Some of you have children, and the consequences of having children for your time are long-term and full of ups and downs, or seasons as today’s passage suggests.
The final lines of this poem, are particularly challenging and at first glance can be quite hard to understand. It describes “a time to love and a time to hate; A time for war and a time for peace”. So when exactly is a good time for a Christian to hate?! We all know that there is a time to love. We should be all about love. Jesus said, “A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another, even as I have loved you, that you also love one another. By this all men will know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another” (John 13:34-35).
But the passage also says there is a time to hate. Here’s what I think it means. Even Jesus hated. He hated sin. He hated its mastery over human souls. He hated the wake of its destruction. We need to learn how to hate that which is evil without hating the people who are evil. God hates injustice. We may hate the ravages of debt, but we love those who struggle with debt, and we want to do whatever we can to help them. So here’s a challenge: have you found a time to hate, like it says in our passage? It’s usually in order to find a time to love.
One thing clear in the first part of the passage is that throughout life, we are going to encounter different seasons. We live in a broken world and can expect difficult times until the king returns. Within the second half of the passage Solomon challenges us to keep trusting God, for his plans are well beyond those we dream up. In verse 11 he describes that “God has made everything beautiful for its own time. He has planted eternity in the human heart, but even so, people cannot see the whole scope of God’s work from beginning to end.”
We often ask questions like, “Why was I born this way? Why did my father treat me that way? Why did my friend die? Why am I missing out on this blessing? Why haven’t my plans turned into reality?” Our challenge is that we focus our attention on the wrong thing. When we look at today God is working on forever. We see the painful awful process; He is working on a much greater product. As we see the fuzzy, ugly cocoon; God plans and sets in motion the butterfly. When I think back to my false narrative of trying to be in control of life’s timings I realise that perhaps God has something far greater for me than even I can imagine. When Nomi got a job in East Yorkshire rather than Leeds, I was upset because I had placed my hope in the carefully laid out plans we had formed. When I put my hope in Jesus, the whole situation became far more manageable and I start to see the process God is taking me on.
As a church we have recently entered into a phase of consecration and realigning ourselves to God and what he is calling us to. In January, David spoke on Joshua 3:5: “Consecrate yourselves for tomorrow the Lord will do amazing things amongst you”. This is a season of preparation. If like me you like to just get on, this is hard. My natural tendency would be to go and get on with the amazing things of tomorrow. However, again I find myself being tested as to who ultimately is in control and surrendering completely to the love shown in Jesus.
In Verses 12-13 of the Ecclesiastes passage, Solomon concludes that life should be enjoyed. We enjoy life by including God in all that we do and being filled with joy. Solomon declares, “12 So I concluded there is nothing better than to be happy and enjoy ourselves as long as we can. 13 And people should eat and drink and enjoy the fruits of their labour, for these are gifts from God.” Biblical faith is a call to joy. Sometimes God is calling us to slow down, relax and enjoy the moment.
A number of years ago, Simon Green came to visit me at University in Nottingham. On the morning he was due to leave I remember waking up, and stressing the urgency that Simon got ready so not to miss his train. After a slow start and a long shower, Simon was finally ready to go leaving only a few minutes to get his train. Greatly unsettled that we may be ‘late’ I stressed the importance we walked at top speed. Simon felt differently, and eventually as we walked said “my Dad always says not to rush anywhere and just enjoy the moment”. I wasn’t impressed! Needless to say Simon missed his train and I left him at the station to wait an hour for the next one.
As I look back I admire Simon’s approach, and a bit of it has stayed with me ever since. Ok being on time is good and important, but the precedence one places on being on time and in control can ultimately mean we miss the moment. The need to be in control is just another barrier between us and the work God is doing in our lives. At that moment with Simon, rather than invest in the friendship we have, my focus was about the carelessness of him being late, and frustration that he didn’t conform to my way of thinking. Almost 10 years later this story is fairly insignificant now and Simon has been late many more times, however, his words have stayed with me, and remind me at times just to slow down and enjoy the moment.
If you are sitting here this morning and identify with the stories I have shared then here are some things I have found helpful:
-
If your narrative is busy-ness then an essential part of finding a Rhythm of life in line with God’s plans is to spend more time with him. Allocate time to spend in worship, meditation and prayer. Ask God for him to impact on your life and be with you. As I walk between lessons in my school I frequently ask God to be with me and I find peace in the busy-ness of the day. For me, worshipping God personally at home with my guitar enables me to refocus and slow down, spending time in his presence.
-
If your narrative is all about planning and control you could talk to your friends and family, or small group and find some accountability. As a community we can support each other. When I think back to Nomi’s job it was the support of this community that enabled us to see the situation from a different point of view. Often the biggest challenge is to acknowledge and open up to someone else about our strongholds.
-
If your narrative involves time just slipping past aimlessly, then look to become a wise steward of your time, and if need be change your ways. Think about checking on a regular basis the balance of time you are spending with God, family, friends, computer games or whatever it is you do to relax. In David’s talk about generosity he explored how we need to be good stewards of our wealth by continuously giving our hearts back to God. The same applies to time.
-
Release control back to God and trust in the plans he has for you. The biggest investment we can make in eternity is through being wise and trusting him whole heartedly.
As I relook at this passage I see great hope. If you are going through tough times at the moment, take hope in the promise of good times ahead. Fix your eyes on his promise on your life and allow God to be in control. If you are going through good times at the moment, take joy in the Lord’s provision on your life. Remember the prayers he has answered because they will no doubt be your strength when tougher times come again. If your false narrative is one of control, replace it with the true narrative that God is in Control. God is calling us to trust him, to release control and to be free in understanding his calling on our lives. Time is a wonderful thing, allow God to be in control.