Making Space For Life 2: Making space in a busy world

How do you behave when you go to a restaurant and they give you an empty plate or bowl and you can fill it with all you can eat? Maybe a curry house with a row of different curries to try, an all you can eat Chinese buffet, or the salad bar. David and I, early in our relationship realised we shared a common skill, that of packing the pizza hut salad bowl totally full with everything. It involved stacking it higher with cucumber round the edges, and of course the light stuff like lettuce went on the top.
Did that salad actually taste nice? Could we distinguish one thing from another or was it just a mish mash of everything?
I haven’t been to a salad bar like that for a while, but if I went now I wonder if I would just take the things I know I like –tomatoes, olives and mozzarella, and leave the cucumber out because It doesn’t go!

I want to think today about stuffing our lives full of everything, and perhaps missing the flavouring in the process. I want to think about what Jesus has to say those of us who have busy and over full lives

This the second talk in a series called making space for life. Erik spoke to us 2 weeks ago about ‘Making space for God in the middle of life’ and how Jesus brings us life, and how making space for him changes our lives.
I want to continue this series by thinking about how to make space for life in a busy world. Many of our lives are stressful or busy. How do we manage to fit space for God amidst all that is going on?

Many of us live lives a little like the all you can eat buffet, we take a little of everything for fear that we might miss out on something good. In the process I wonder if we are so busy or focussed on our agenda we miss out on the unexpected things God wants us to do, or do not give enough time to what he has called us to do.
Eating that much at a buffet isn’t good for us, and maybe life at that pace just isn’t good for us.

Listen to what Jesus says:
"Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you'll recover your life. I'll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won't lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you'll learn to live freely and lightly."
(Matt 11:28 The Message)

Jesus is not offering us an escape from life, but a way of walking and working with him that fits how he made us.

Life is busy and stressful

I want to tell you a bit about a stressful time in my life a couple of years ago.
In July 2007 we moved house without managing to sell our old house. I was happy that we had moved to a lovely house, but it was still a mess, and it didn’t feel like home. I couldn’t sleep well, and was very tired. I was very worried about having an empty house to sell, and concerned about what people would think of our risky financial decision. Even looking at the photo of the ‘for sale’ sign makes me feel stressed.

When we moved was the time of intense final preparations for the Ashburnham holiday, a festival that Wharfedale Vineyard organises for several hundred people. David and I coordinated everything that year, and there were lots of last minute plans to be finalised. So 3 days after moving we ignored any remaining boxes and carried on organising and planning for Ashburnham. Two weeks after Ashburnham, we decided to have a housewarming party and I cooked an enormous and complicated buffet meal – the photo is of the food cooked, covered and in the cellar, as it’s the coolest place in the house, before everyone arrived. We had masses of friends come throughout the day. It was a great time, but we were exhausted after it.
In September I was made redundant from my job as a salaried GP.

The early autumn was a busy with renovation projects on the old house, the busiest time of year for church events and responsibilities and several guests coming to see our lovely new home. I was worried about selling the old house and I was worried about was what people thought of what we had done.

Then I had several illnesses one after the other. One of them was an eye infection that dragged on for a few weeks. Having had no time off work for illness for a few years I had to phone in sick 3 times (although I didn’t for the eye infection!) Perhaps my body had run out of fight! The illnesses also made things worse, as I did not want my employers to think I was looking for chances to miss work because they had made me redundant.
I also found I was completely incapable of making a decision about my next job, I couldn’t even think about what I wanted.

What was going on with me in 2007? It was stress. David and I have a busy life. We knew when we took on Ashburnham that it would be a massive commitment. The decision to move house was a choice we made, although the timing of it was not entirely in our control. We chose to do everything, the house warming party and Ashburnham, to a rather high standard.
Then out of my control I was made redundant. By the time all that had happened I was worried, stressed and yes, still busy.

Are you busy or stressed?

Many of us are living incredibly busy lives. For some of us that business is good, and we thrive on it, and for others we feel out of control. Some stages of life are just busy – whether it is caring for someone who is ill, working for a deadline or the having young children.
Perhaps we are face stress or worries over illness, finances or relationship issues.

I want to look at how we make space for life in a stressful world
Stress happens in life, it is part of the world we live in. Some of the stress we can control or alter, and sometimes we can change how we react to the stress.

I want to look at how we live life in a busy world
Busyness and stress are not always linked. You can be busy without being stressed, and stressed without being busy. However by studying how Jesus lived when he walked on the earth, we gain insights into both stress and busyness, so they can usefully be looked at together.

Stress

 

What is Stress?

‘Stress’ is in the name we give to the response our bodies make to events or situations.
Many of us are familiar with the way our bodies respond by pumping adrenaline out when we are faced with a sudden stressful situation. We are suddenly focussed, and have boundless energy. We usually don’t sleep, aren’t interested in eating .
You may have experienced this when you have had sudden news out of the blue. This is called the acute stress response.
However many of our situations last longer than the acute or short term stress response. It is often the long term stressful situations that cause problems in how we think, feel, react and how our bodies cope.

However, pressure of deadlines or difficult tasks are useful however to bring out the best in us – and in that respect stressful situations can be helpful. In fact living without stress at all can be very unhealthy – and in fact – stressful!

What does stress do?

The stressful situation could be caused by things from inside ourselves such as our own competitive or perfectionist ways. It can also be caused by things from outside, that we cannot control completely such as illness, financial worries. It could be a combination of factors.

Stress affects our bodies in various ways - thoughts, our feelings, our bodies, and our actions. There is a massive list of effects that stress could have, but commonly to our thoughts it may be worry or concentration issues. Our feelings may be of being overwhelmed, restless or irritable. Our bodies respond with many illnesses, new ones or worsening of existing conditions. Stress can affect our actions – one way we may respond is by overdoing a behaviour such as spending, eating or drinking alcohol.
The way our bodies react to stress are so variable however it isn’t always straight forward to recognise what is going on.
Many of us are stressed in a normal week to a certain extent, and manage to carry on our lives. Sometimes the stress gets too much, and it begins to affect us so much that we can no longer function normally; maybe we need time off work, or major help to recover. This is where stress can overlap with depression, anxiety or other mental health issues. If that is where you are at today make sure you talk to someone you trust, and get the help you need.

Busyness

Why are we so busy? For some of us we need to be busy to make ends meet, or to cope with our current family situation. Maybe we are busy because of choices were made long ago, or maybe we are busy with stuff we have no choice over at all.
I wonder if some of us have learnt to fill our lives with one thing after another, and therefore learning to make space is a difficult skill.

For some of us life is like the all you can eat buffet, and we have filled our lives so full of good things, without prioritising. Maybe we feel that we're missing out if we say no to something, whether a social event or a training event at church. So we take part in everything, accept every invitation, and get involved in every project going.
Once we get to a certain level of busyness we end up having very little space to think, or spare capacity to cope with a new situation that may come up.

One of the things I would like us to think about is deliberately creating enough space in our lives so that when something important comes up – whether a stressful situation or something good that is at the heart of what God has called us to do we have capacity to respond.

We also need to be less busy because it is good for our bodies and our relationship with God. As Erik talked about 2 weeks ago, we need to deliberately make space to be with God, to gain his perspective and his compassion on the world around us.
I recognise also that not having enough to do can also be stressful. Maybe thats because of our stage of life, an illness or our job situation. God intended us to have work to do. It was part of his original call for Adam to ‘take care of the garden of Eden’. What I’m describing here is not necessarily paid work, but meaningful activity. When we don’t have enough to do we aren’t able to fulfil what God planned for us as good.

Jesus

Lets look at Jesus’ life, because I think there are some pointers when we look at him which we can apply to our stressful or busy lives. Marks gospel is the account of Jesus life that both reflects his busyness, and that he knew what he was for. As you read through the gospel it keeps mentioning that he is on his way to get to Jerusalem. He often responds to situations by stating why he has come.

Mark 1:35-39
Very early in the morning, while it was still dark, Jesus got up, left the house and went off to a solitary place, where he prayed. Simon and his companions went to look for him, and when they found him, they exclaimed: "Everyone is looking for you!"
Jesus replied, "Let us go somewhere else—to the nearby villages—so I can preach there also. That is why I have come." So he travelled throughout Galilee, preaching in their synagogues and driving out demons.

Jesus made time for God

The first thing we notice in this passage is that despite a busy schedule Jesus managed to make time to pray. He went off to a solitary place where he prayed. I’m not going to use this passage as evidence that we should all get up at very early hours to pray, but Jesus clearly made time to be alone with God. In the passage immediately before this one Jesus had healed many people. He was aware of the forces at work against him, as he had driven out demons. He needed to respond to his busy and stressful time by making time to pray.

Jesus knew where he was going

The next thing we notice is Jesus’ clear understanding of his purpose. Jesus was clear what to say yes and no to. He knew his calling. Despite healing many people the day before, Jesus did not want to go back to that town and heal again, but he wanted to go on to the nearby villages to preach – and he says ‘that is why I have come’. He knew he had not just come to heal one village, but to travel further preaching. If you read on through Mark’s account of Jesus’ life the pace seems to gather as he heads for Jerusalem and towards the cross. He knows that he has come for Jerusalem and the cross too.

Jesus was interruptible

However Jesus was also interruptible. The next thing that happens is that a man with leprosy came to Jesus and begged him to heal him. As he heals him he says ‘I am willing’ it seems to me, that Jesus’ ministry is a combination knowing what he is doing in a focussed and planned way and getting interrupted, because he sees spontaneous things that God wants him to be involved in.

Jesus calls us to walk with him

Let’s take another look at Matthew 11
Jesus says ‘walk with me, and work with me, watch how I do it.’

Walking with Jesus is about relationship with him. And it is also about doing things like he does.
We noticed earlier that Jesus spent time with his Father God. And that’s something we can do too. Like he does
We noticed that Jesus knew his calling and purpose. That’s important for us too. Just like Jesus, there are times for us to say yes to things and times to say no.

We noticed that Jesus was interruptible. Sometimes that’s important for us too. Watching out for those spontaneous opportunities when the Kingdom of God might just break in if we drop the plan and respond to the situation.
Walking with Jesus is not a set of rules or a code of conduct. We are following and walking with a leader. He’s there with us in our busy lives. It’s a relationship.

What are my motives?

So how do we make space in a busy world?
It is helpful think about why we are doing all the things that keep us busy, what are our motives?
God created us to have relationship with him, to walk with him, and is pleased with us before we do anything.
All our activities are not there to make God like us more. As we are walking with Jesus, and we start to do his agenda, and that is where our activities come from.

Sometimes we tend to fill our lives with busyness to prove that we are something, or to try and be something we are not.
We do not need to be busy to earn God’s love, he loves us whether we are busy or not.

What is my calling?

At various points over the last few years I’ve put time aside to work out what I am called to do at that time. Some of these things may be rather obvious; I am already a mother, a wife, a doctor, a daughter a sister, a friend – God is not calling me to abandon those things at the moment. However within those roles I’ve found it useful to think of what is important for now.
When I look back in my journal I found various things I had written about being a mother to Sarah and Mark. At one point I felt I should prioritise having fun and , spending time with them, but at I felt God was calling me to think about releasing the in independence and inspiring them.
Jesus had a manifesto that he used in Luke chapter 4:

The Spirit of the Lord is on me,
because he has anointed me
to preach good news to the poor.
He has sent me to proclaim freedom for the prisoners
and recovery of sight for the blind,
to release the oppressed,
to proclaim the year of the Lord's favour.

Last autumn I had a go at writing my own manifesto, my version – based on this passage. I started with the sentence ‘the spirit of the Lord is on me… and began to think and pray about what he has anointed me to do. What did I feel his compassion for? What issues in the church and the world did I feel he was calling me to be involved in?

Why not have a go – start with this passage and try and articulate something personal for you at the moment. It does not have to encompass everything God has given you to do, but something of what he has put on your heart. Don’t feel worried by the huge nature of Jesus’ manifesto, it is worth pointing out that he didn’t do all of these all of the time!
Writing your manifesto is something you could do as a house group, which would give you the opportunity to support each other in living that manifesto.
As we discover what we are for we begin to make sense of the busyness, we can clear away some of the clutter. We need to make space for the important things, even if they are hard or stressful.

Making space in a busy world

We have to create space in our lives, what does that space look like practically, what sort of space?

Create capacity in time

It may not be possible to alter what happens to your time, but I challenge you to review it. If every available time you have is used are you really being healthy? Look at whether your time reflects things that are important for you.
In the busy time I talked about at the beginning doing a housewarming party was important to us, for developing friendships particularly with local people and the children’s school friends. However we could have released time by not cooking quite so many dishes!

Sometimes In the busyness I lose sight of why I am doing certain tasks, even the ones that are right to do, and the goal becomes getting everything perfect and looking just right. It may be we have learnt behaviours like this, or that we are trying to impress others, but the result is tiring, causes us stress and hinders what God really want to do in us.

Invest in restoring your physical strength

It may interest you to know that in the current guidance on mild depression one of the key things we advise sufferers is to take steps to restore a normal sleep pattern and take regular exericise. Exercise and sleep actually help improve mild depression. So looking after your physical body is a good idea. In 2007 after all those illnesses I took a decision try and let my body recover. I made space to rest before rushing into finding a new job.

Renew our emotional energy

Think about what restores or helps your mood. Perhaps it is spending time with friends, perhaps time on your own, or doing something creative. Maybe watching a football match with a bunch of friends (perhaps only if England do well..) For me getting outside somewhere beautiful.
When you find something you do that really reenergises you then make time for it.

Invest in important relationships

It is important that we put time aside for relationships. If we actively invest in people who are close to us then our relationships will be stringer and cope better when stressful or busy tomes come. It is important to resolve conflict and sort out issues. Unresolved conflict is a cause of stress and consumes masses of time and emotional energy.

Create financial reserves

It helps to create some savings for unforeseen things. If we are living our lives without savings it will make coping with any stressful situation much harder. It may be a long term goal to get to a place where you can build up some savings. When you have savings it takes wisdom to know when to use them!
If you would like help with finances then your housegroup leaders or the pastoral staff will be able to help you find someone with the correct training.

We make space to walk with Jesus

Jesus calls us to walk with him, and so making space to be with him is important. Erik reminded us 2 weeks ago how as we spend time with God it changes us, we worship him, and our priorities change. To walk with Jesus we also need to spend time with others on the same journey, for example in a housegroup.

God is not necessarily calling us to a quiet or a selfish life.

He is not calling us to give up all the important things that are keeping us busy. He may not take away the difficult and stressful things that are going on, but he does promise to be with us and change us in it.
This is about creating some space in a busy world, not escaping the world completely.

Living life in a stressful time

I’d like to tell you something recently that helped me when I was stressed.
On Good Friday my dad was taken suddenly ill in Bristol where he and mum live. After that phone call out of the blue I felt that acute stress response I described earlier. I had a sleepless night and travelled down to Bristol. My dad was in hospital over a week, but thankfully started to improve reasonably quickly. I spent a few days in Bristol, and I returned to Leeds on Easter Monday. I spent the next few days finding it quite difficult to concentrate on much else as I waited for news about his various tests, and worried about coping with my the deteriorating health of my 80 year old parents in Bristol. By the Thursday night we were still waiting for a crucial scan to happen, and I was becoming increasingly anxious. The stress was affecting my thoughts and feelings. I managed to turn my anxious thoughts to prayer, and it seemed to help. I read a familiar passage from Philippians on prayer in the message.
Don't fret or worry. Instead of worrying, pray. Let petitions and praises shape your worries into prayers, letting God know your concerns. Before you know it, a sense of God's wholeness, everything coming together for good, will come and settle you down. It's wonderful what happens when Christ displaces worry at the centre of your life.
That phrase, shape your worries into prayer.

I love the picture that the message refers to of petitions and praises shaping our worries into prayers. In my mind I have a picture of those blobs in a lava lamp, my worries are like those blobs, constantly changing shape, floating about in my field of vision. As I go to God, and tell him about them he helps me shape them into prayers, both thanking him and asking him to work in the situations I am worried about. As I pray the blobs change shape, sometimes my perspective changes, other times God changes things. Christ displaces the worry at the centre of my life.

So in that stressful time, I used the picture of the shaping my worries into prayer and tried to articulate things I wanted to pray for – that dad would have his scan before the weekend, and that I could be able to find out more information as to what was going on. I did feel more settled after praying, and slept better that night.
The next day my dad had his scan! The day after we travelled back to Bristol, as planned and dad he came out of hospital. Over the next few days I was able to speak to his GP, go with him to an outpatients appointment and help him get used to his new tablets.
It was a stressful situation, and he still has health worries and results of more tests to follow, but I can look back say that walking with Jesus, and shaping my worries into prayer in the stress helped.

Summary

As I conclude I’d like you to think about your situation, and what God may be saying to you.
Think about your life.
Are you stressed – is it a good amount of stress or too much? Are you showing any of the symptoms of stress I mentioned?
Why are you stressed? Is it big life events, relationships, finances, your own competitive drive, criticism or change?
Are you busy? – and are you busy with the right things? Have you any capacity in your life for the things that are important, including the unexpected ones?
Why are you busy? Are you busy with the right things, or are you saying yes to too many things? Are you doing things for the wrong reason?

So what can you do about your stress and busyness?
Maybe God is calling you to create some spare time in your life. To invest in your health. To invest in key relationships. To make changes with how you handle your money.
Maybe God is calling you to make space for him in the middle of your situation and to walk with him.
Maybe God is calling you to shape your worries into prayer

As I finish my prayer for you is based on that verse:
May you who are tired and worn come to Jesus.
May you who are burned out on religion, come to Jesus.
May you recover your lives.
May you find real rest.
May you walk with him and work with him.
May you watch Jesus and learn the unforced rhythms of grace.
May you live freely and lightly.