Prayer: why do we pray, and how?

A 4-year-old boy was asked to say grace before dinner. The family members bowed their heads in expectation. He began his prayer, thanking God for all his friends, naming them one by one.

Then he thanked God for Mum, Dad, brother, sister, Grandma, Grandpa, and all his aunts and uncles. Then he began to thank God for the food. He gave thanks for the roast beef, the Yorkshire pudding, the roast potatoes, the carrots, the gravy, his milk and the chocolate pudding.

Then he paused, and everyone waited-- and waited. After a long silence, the young child looked up at his mother and asked, "If I thank God for the cabbage, won't he know that I'm lying?"

I want to share a few thoughts with you today about prayer. This is a journey that started for me about 13 years ago. I had been a Christian for about 5 years but had always struggled with prayer. My tongue got tied up if I tried to pray. On the first evening of a Christian Union weekend away, I had a sudden desire for a pre-breakfast prayer meeting the following day. My desire was not shared, however, so I was on my own when I got up at 7am. Still, I sang a song and then settled down and tried to pray. But I couldn’t do it. The words wouldn’t come. Eventually, as much in frustration as anything else I prayed out loud: “Lord, teach me to pray!” God’s reply was instantaneous: “Someone asked me that once.” I picked up my bible and turned to Matthew 6.

But before we get there, there are a few common ideas and misconceptions about prayer that I want to dispel:

• Prayer is for when we’re desperate – God is the 5th emergency service (after fire, police, ambulance, and the AA). Prayer is for when we’re desperate, but not just for when we’re desperate!

• Prayer is for religious types. No. Prayer is normal activity for anyone following Jesus.

• Prayer is about asking God for things. Well, yes it is: help, for insight, strength, forgiveness. But it’s not just about requests, or a shopping list. It’s about relationship and building the Kingdom of God.

• Prayer is more effective the longer you speak for and the bigger words and more syllables you use. No. If it’s not real, if it’s just a charade, it’s hypocrisy and Jesus condemned that.

• You have to be good to pray. No - because no-one is good. Far better to realise that at the start, but recognise you have a loving heavenly Father.

• You have to be a Christian for God to hear your prayers. God hears our prayers; by his grace we can know him because of what Jesus has done. For those who are not Christians the first prayer is usually asking God to make himself known, or for forgiveness. And God hears those prayers.

I want to spend a bit of time unpacking Prayer today, looking first at the “why”, and then the “How”.

Why Pray?

Because knowing God is a relationship and prayer is an expression of that relationship.

Mother Theresa of Calcutta was interviewed once about prayer. She was asked, “what did she say to God?” “I don’t say much,” she said. “Mostly, I just listen.” “What did God sat to her,” the interviewer asked. “He doesn’t say much. Mostly, He just listens.”

This is the heart of it. I want to suggest to you today, that we misunderstand prayer if we think it just to be communication with God. It is about that, but it’s also about communion God. Being with God. Spending time with Him. Why pray? Because God wants you to spend time with Him. And he wants to spend time with you... because he loves you! John 3:16 says he loves you so much that he sent his only Son that whoever believes in him will not perish but shall have eternal life.

In preparation for this talk, I learned that The Bible refers to prayer or expresses a prayer in 61 of its 66 books. It makes close to 1,100 distinct references to or about prayer. 1,100 references – God must consider prayer to be important for it to be mentioned so much.

But you know what’s more? He delights in our prayers. Proverbs 15:8:
the prayer of the upright is his delight.

Relationship - this is what prayer is all about. If you remember just one thing from this talk, remember that prayer is an expression of the relationship between you, in the Wharfedale Vineyard, and God, the Almighty, the Creator of the universe, the relationship between you and the One True God whom we can call ‘Father’. And like any relationship, the more time you put into it, the more you share your heart, the faster and stronger it will grow. Conversely, if we don’t pray and are silent and withdrawn, then that relationship will struggle to develop.

It’s a 2-way thing. God is always available; we need to make ourselves available.
As Mother Theresa of Calcutta knew so well, it’s not just about us talking. God speaks too. So it’s also about listening. Through prayer we can know God’s will and purpose for the world, for us, for the church. He shares his understanding with us – brings us comfort, peace, vision, direction.
And through prayer we receive God’s grace – Those that wait on the Lord will renew their strength it says in Psalm 40:31.
So pray, because God loves you (because he loves you, because he loves you). He takes delight in you (Psalm 149:4) and wants to spend time with you.

Because Jesus prayed and told us to.

The Bible tells how Jesus prayed. Mark 1:35 is just one example:
Very early in the morning, while it was still dark, Jesus got up, left the house and went off to a solitary place, where he prayed.

Matthew 14:23 is another:
After he had dismissed them, he went up on a mountainside by himself to pray. When evening came, he was there alone.

In John 17 we can see how He prays for himself, for other people, and for the situation he finds himself in.

In Matthew 26 we can read of how in the Garden of Gethsemane he starts the hardest day of his life – the one that ends in crucifixion - in prayer.

But Jesus doesn’t just pray, he also teaches about prayer. Perhaps the best example is what we now know as the Lord’s Prayer where he gives a pattern for prayer focused on God.

Matthew 6:
"And when you pray (I love that – Not if... when!)
But when you pray, go into your room, close the door and pray to your Father, who is unseen. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you. And when you pray, do not keep on babbling like pagans, for they think they will be heard because of their many words. Do not be like them, for your Father knows what you need before you ask him.
"This, then, is how you should pray:
" 'Our Father in heaven,
hallowed be your name,
your kingdom come,
your will be done
on earth as it is in heaven.
Give us today our daily bread.
Forgive us our debts,
as we also have forgiven our debtors.
And lead us not into temptation,
but deliver us from the evil one.'

Because prayer works (maybe I should have started with this one)!

Prayer releases God’s power for His glory. Prayer opens the way for God’s Kingdom to come - and when it does come, it changes things.
God never changes his character and never changes his mind. He is consistent and will always respond to us and our situations in accordance with his character. Prayer doesn’t change God or his mind. Prayer changes us, because when you spend time with someone, they influence you. Remember your parents or friends warning you about people who were “no good”. You may say the same to your friends or kids. “Spend time with those who are a positive influence on you.” Prayer changes us because it is us spending time with God the Father, from whom all good things come.

2 Chronicles 7:14:
If my people, who are called by name, will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven and will forgive their sins and heal their land.

I love promises in scripture – find them and hold onto them! I will heal their land. Prayer changes things because as we pray, God steps in, and when he does, his kingdom is expanded and we see things his way.

Jesus said: “I will do whatever you ask in my name.” (John 14:13). That does not mean we can just add “in Jesus name” to the end of a prayer like some magic formula. Name means the character, person, qualities, and purposes of God. If we pray in line with God’s purposes and character we can expect him to answer. And the more time we spend with God in prayer, the better we will get to know his purposes and character.

Finally

Because God encourages us not to carry burdens, but to give them to Him.

1 Peter 5:7:
Cast all your anxiety on him, because he cares for you.

Philipians 4:6
Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present you requests to God. And the peace of God which transcends all understanding will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

So, why pray?

• because it’s vital to the most important relationship you can have.
• because Jesus did it and teaches us to.
• because it works.
• because God loves you and cares about you.

But how does it work?

One of the things I like least in life, and look forward most to not having to deal with during eternity with God, is... automated telephone systems. You know the thing I mean, when you call the bank, or phone company or the tax office... Endless options, questions, security codes... annoying music... then you get cut off... Can you imagine what it would be like if Prayer was like that and God responded with a sort of automated prayer answering system?

Imagine praying and hearing this........

Thank you for calling The House of the Lord. Please select from one of the following options:
Press 1 for REQUESTS
Press 2 for THANKSGIVING
Press 3 for COMPLAINTS
Press 4 for HEALING
Press 5 for ADVANCE RESULTS OF SPORTING EVENTS
Press 6 for RAIN or No RAIN
Press 7 for MIRACLES
Press 8 for LOTTERY WINNING NUMBERS
Press 9 for ALL OTHER ENQUIRIES OR JUST TO SAY “HI”
Press 0 to hear this menu again
If you would like to hear King David sing a Psalm in a contemporary style while you are holding, please press *, wait for the beep and enter the number of the Psalm you wish to hear.

What if God used the familiar excuse: “I’m sorry, all the angels are helping other SINNERS right now. Please stay on the line. Your prayer is important to us and will be answered shortly...

God does not have automated prayer answering. He deals with every prayer personally.

Let’s talk about how to pray, and I want to focus specifically on our personal prayer lives here.

Prayer at it’s simplest is talking with God.

We pray to God the Father, in the name of Jesus, in the power of the Holy Spirit. The Lords’ prayer form Matthew 6 begins: Our father in heaven...

A former pastor of mine started every prayer with “God our loving heavenly father.” You could say it put him and God in their rightful places, but it also speaks of relationship. He prayed to his heavenly Dad, not some abstract being. Incidentally, he also ended every prayer: In Jesus’ name...

How to pray:

Pray Boldly – Heb. 4:16 says we can ‘approach throne of grace with confidence’: it’s a throne, but of grace, that we are encouraged to approach it confidently.
So, be direct! Don’t tiptoe around the issue. Jesus does not pray for something to happen... if it’s in God’s will. Nor does he ask God to “just” do something. That word “Just”. We pray to our heavenly father who the Bible says is able to do exceedingly abundantly more than all we ask or imagine. Don’t try and put limits on him by asking him to “just” do something (you won’t manage it by the way).

Pray boldly and with confidence that he will hear: 1 John 5:14:
This is the confidence we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according to his will, he hears us.

Jesus does not model a prayer along the lines of “Lord will you give me courage so that I can do such and such.” No. He is direct and to the point. Your will be done.

Be intimate - it is a relationship (am I getting this over?) – pray in the manner and language that suits you! It’s not a performance. It’s not an act. Do you sound like the King James bible when you talk? If not, don’t pray like it! Pray openly, honestly, intimately. Share your dreams with God– he knows them already!

What should we pray for

Look at Matthew 6:

• God’s kingdom to come. Stuck for something to pray for? – pray a prayer that opens the door for His Kingdom to come in.

• God’s will to be done. The prayer is simple – Your will be done, God, on Earth as in Heaven.

• Give us today our daily bread. Bread meets our most important physical need. If you can eat, you can live. Modern society may ask for a Mercedes Benz, but Jesus prayer is far more simple. “Delight yourself in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart says Psalm 37 and verse 4.” Spend time with God in prayer and as you get to know him. Let God deal with the rest. And note it’s daily bread, not a weeks supply. He wants you to come back again tomorrow...

• Forgive us our sins. This is the first prayer we pray when we become a Christian and one of the most important we continue to pray. And you know what happens when we do? 1 John 1:9 tells us that if we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness. We are made clean.
  

And a few others:

• Pray for our leaders – pray for David and Alison and the pastoral staff. Pray for our political leaders. Family, friends, those who don’t know him.

• Pray for revival – this was all the rage a few years ago, and there is nothing wrong with doing this. But remember it starts at home! Whenever Rodney “Gypsy” Smith the 19th and early 20th century evangelist wanted to see God do His great work, he would draw a circle on the ground with white chalk, step inside it and pray, "Lord, send a revival, and let it begin inside this circle." Start in your kitchen, or wherever you pray regularly – Lord revive everything in this car! Then, when he has, you can get bigger... Lord revive everything in this house!

And once you are praying, keep praying. Be persistent. Jesus says in Matthew 7:7-8:
"Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. 8For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened.

Now of course just about every Christian goes through times when it feels like you’re praying in a sound proof room and God just can’t hear. Read any biography or, even better, talk to your friends! In these times... Keep going. Keep asking, keep seeking, keep knocking. Keep praying.

And for the times we don’t know what to pray, when the situation seems desperate, you’ve reach the end of your own resources and the words run out - God hears the cry of our heart if we cry to him – even when we don’t have the words.
Romans. 8:26 ...the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express.

And as to Practicalities:

Well on one level you can pray whenever and wherever you like: standing up; sitting down; lying down; on your head; eyes open; eyes closed. But in all seriousness, I would say almost never on the toilet – you can do better than that! And perhaps not just when you’re lying in bed and drifting off to sleep.

If prayer is the expression of a relationship it will work best if you schedule some quality time. A lovely old lady I used to know had a saying “don’t speak to man until you’ve spoken to God.” I think there is some wisdom in that.

So like the Nike slogan says – Just Do it!

• Your could try praying through the Lord’s prayer. Or use memory tools like ACTS, which stands for Adoration, Confession, Thanks, Supplication. Or STOP – Sorry, Thanksgiving, Others, Please.

• Use a Psalm (the Psalms are special because although all scripture comes from God, the Psalms are directed as a response to God rather than God speaking to us – you could call them prayers).

• Or just start thanking him for who he is.

• You may find it helpful to read something from the Bible – meditate/turn it over in mind.

Try praying on your own, in a quiet place without distractions – look at Matthew 6 again:
But when you pray, go into your room, close the door and pray to your Father who is unseen. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you.

Try praying at a regular time of the day. Don’t become slave to it, but do establish good habits – God is inviting you to get to know him. Pray with the Bible to Hand. Remember, you won’t be the only one doing the talking!

Alternatively (or far better as well!), pray with others: a mentor or mentee if you have one – a prayer triplet, or group.

Here in the Vineyard family for example we have:

• The pre-service prayer meeting - people meet to pray at Carr Manor from 10am on Sundays to pray for the up-coming service and those attending. Out of that meeting have come some really important prophetic words and pictures – get involved!

• Praying for Other People, Other Places – The first Saturday of the month a group of people meet at Val and Felix’s home to pray for people going on international mission trips as well as the partner organisations we've got contact with. Talk to Mat Button for more information.

• Cup-a-prayer: Hazel, who co-ordinates much of our prayer at the Wharfedale Vineyard is currently touring the house groups to introduce people to an alternative way of praying. She has produced coasters and strips you can tie to your kettle to function as a reminder to pray every time you make yourself a cup of tea or coffee. Ask Hazel for more details, or wait till she comes to your house group.

• We are planning to run another week of prayer and fasting, and a 24/7 day of prayer, from the 29th of March to the 1st of April and more details will be published on the website in the next few weeks.

God loves it when you pray. He delights in you. The faintest, most awkward, stumbling prayer of anyone seeking God humbly and honestly is heard in heaven... and has power. Jeremiah 29:13 contains another promise - And you will seek me and find me, when you seek me with all your heart. The heart cry of frustration, sitting alone in a prayer meeting is heard in Heaven and answered.

Prayer works. The Psalmists knew it. Jesus knew it, modelled it and taught it. Prayer is at the core of our faith and should be at the heart of our relationship with God. So let’s do it!