Making Wise Personal Decisions

The follower of Jesus can make very wise personal decisions.

This week I would like to reflect on the way in which we make personal decisions. Last time David guided us through five wisdom approaches to decision making; this time how do we get to a point where we can make decisions easily and wisely?

When we set off on a journey we have to make many decisions. Some are little ones, some are big ones. Some are important, some aren’t.



This Tesco driver took a wrong turn under the instruction of his Sat Nav. "I never thought I would get that far he said afterwards".

If I drive home from the VC I can take 3 roads home. They diverge about quarter of a mile from the VC but they all meet up again 3 miles later in Moortown. It really doesn’t matter which one I follow, they all take roughly the same time.
When I get to the point that these 3 roads converge again at Moortown I come to the Ring Road and a roundabout. At this point it really matters quite a lot which road I take. The 4 exits go in completely different directions.

There are two timetables to making wise decisions both the little ones and the big ones:
Preparing in advance and Making the decision

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PREPARING IN ADVANCE

Discover your Kingdom calling

Ephesians 2:19

You are no longer foreigners and aliens, but fellow citizens with God’s people and members of God’s household.

As citizens in a new Kingdom, we need to find out about the King and what he wants for us, what are his values and purposes.

Kingdom values will influence your decisions; your decisions will reveal your kingdom values. Let’s think about big decisions for a minute. Which decisions really matter? Ask.

Even after you have made a decision to follow Jesus (like Linda) you have a really important, scene setting, foundational decision to make.

What is your Kingdom calling?
Let me unpack that jargon a bit. I believe that every single one of us is here for a purpose. Not one of us is accidental (whatever the circumstances of our birth), not one of us is incidental (whatever we feel like).

The bible says that God created us deliberately and with plans;

Psalm 139:13-16

“For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb….All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.”

Jeremiah 29:11

““I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord.”

One of the really good things about deciding to follow Jesus is learning what you are on this planet for. Because you are in a new Kingdom we can describe this as discovering your Kingdom calling.

Some of it is very simple and straightforward: if you are married part of God’s plan is for you to love our husband or wife; if you have a mortgage or debt part of God’s plan is that you pay it off eventually; if you have a job part of God’s plan is that you commit yourself to being the best employee you can possibly be.

Some of it is more influential on life choices: you may be called to stay single; you may be called to forego a career in order to plant churches or become a missionary; you may have an overwhelming call to minister with the poor or be super-generous with your cash.

A Kingdom calling can change over time, you can have more than one and they may layer over each other at different times in your life. It may take you some time to discover what some of your Kingdom calling is and you will probably never get the full picture. In the bible God says, “I know the plans I have for you.” He doesn’t say he is going to tell you all of them.

And frankly, for those of you who are watching Flash Forward, which is about what happens when everyone gets a glimpse of their future, it is quite a good thing not to know everything.

How do we do discover our Kingdom calling?

• Think about the way he made you – what are your values? What works for you?
• Spend time in prayer. Romans 12:2 instructs us, “Be transformed by the renewing of your mind.”
• Understand and know the scriptures. Jesus when tempted in the desert (Luke 4).
• Think ahead – the longer range your perspective the better the decision. Research the alternatives – a decision well researched is rarely regretted. Luke 14:28; Proverbs 13:16; 18:13;, 23:23; 14:17.
• Take advice, lots of advice (from whom? Mentors, elders, pastor, housegroup leader, someone with a track record, experts), gain perspective outside of your own. Moses taking leadership advice from his father-in-law Jethro (Exodus 18:17).
• Learn to hear Jesus’ voice.

And then we will discover that this verse in Isaiah becomes effective:

Isaiah 30:21.Your ears will hear a voice behind you saying, “This is the way, walk in it”.

Speaking of hearing a voice reminds me of a story about a burglar. One with a bit of a conscience. In the middle of the night, its pitch black as this naughty man shines his torch around the lounge of the house which he has broken into.

I have known Alison for many years, 35 years or so. I know her very well. Although she belongs to that strange species known as woman I can generally read her moods and appetites pretty well. Well that’s not true, I have no idea what is going on in her mind sometimes. I am still wrong a lot of the time. And she is not slow to correct me.

You know that philosophical notion that if a tree falls over in the forest but there is no one there to hear it – does it make a sound?
Well I have heard it asked, if a man is alone in a forest and makes a statement but his wife isn’t there to hear him, is he still wrong?

But I do have a much better idea about what Alison is like now than I used to! So if we go out for a meal I can make a pretty good stab at ordering drinks and food for her. If I don’t then I need to take sandwiches to keep me alive whilst she spends some weeks looking through the menu trying to decide.

I know what sorts of films she likes, where she likes to go, what will energise her and what will drag her down. So when it comes to making decisions which affect her I am a whole let better now than I was 35 years ago.

Prepare in advance

It is the same with our relationship with God the King. How do we know what He wants for us unless we can get to know his mind?

I have followed Jesus for some 40 years. I have studied and read and memorised the bible. I spend time almost every day in prayer and study. I have surrounded myself with wise people (Alison, my family, the GLT, trustees, mentors and overseers) who won’t hesitate to call my bluff. To the best of my ability I have dedicated myself to following Jesus and have asked him to keep me on a short leash.

Therefore, I am confident in him, I live in contentment that he is deeply in my thinking, my values, my priorities, my being. Or that I am in him. I am pretty sure that when I make decisions he is happy with them. If he isn’t I know very quickly. I can sense it in my spirit in a nano-second. If I ignore that sense it isn’t long before Alison picks it up and if she doesn’t someone will pretty quickly.

I am not saying that I get it right all the time or that I am an especially good person. I only do what many of you do. What I am saying is that when Jesus says, “Ask for anything in my name and it will be given you” … he is expecting us to know what he is like and what he would do. He is expecting us to be so in him and for him to be so in us and the way we think and behave that we ask for stuff that he is already in the process of giving.

His kingdom values invade us, our thinking, our believing, our behaviour.

Let’s go back to my road metaphor. There are some junctions which you will come across in life where you can choose freely which way to go with very similar results. Examples? Whether to buy a Ford Mondeo or a Vauxhall Vectra, whether to go on holiday to Cornwall or Scotland.

Sometimes this is because the decision really isn’t that big a deal and sometimes because you are very familiar with the territory. Once you have had 6 company cars it is no longer the big question it was when you were offered your first one.

Other road decisions are much more crucial when you don’t know the territory. Think about the intersection of the M1 and the M62. That is a very big roundabout. Now that decision is a really important one. One way takes you to Hull, another to London, another into Lancashire, the final choice would lead you into Leeds.

Some decisions will send us off in one significant direction from which it will be difficult to deviate or retreat. This is where, in advance, we need to have invested our time and attention in preparation and discovered our Kingdom calling.

Make pre-meditated principled decisions.

What I mean by a premeditated principled decision is that most of us will face difficult decisions and we know what some of them will be. It is wise to think through principles beforehand so that when you are in the place and time of choice you are prepared because you can sit back on a principle which you have already established – a pre-meditated one. For example:

1. Sex – if you are going to keep sex special and within marriage, how are you going to react when your hormones and sex-drive move into gear when you are with that rather special person on your own and no one watching? How are you going ensure that you are not tempted by porn or that your resolve does not weaken under the influence of alcohol?

You make a pre-meditated principled decision that you will keep sex within your marriage (now or in the future). You plan business travel, events and leisure time in a way that protects you from being tempted to compromise on that decision. And you tell enough people so that you know that others know.

2. Money – if you are going to be generous and a good steward of what God has given you how are you going to react when that new must-have gadget appears or you can get a new settee on an interest-free deal, or when you get the offer of a big job with big money but which takes you away from your family and loads you up with stress, or when you lose your job or your business fails?

You make a pre-meditated principled decision that you will always give first and spend second, that you will avoid the use of debt and that your family will always come first when it comes to career decisions. You decide that whatever your financial wealth you will be satisfied with what God has provided and you plan your long term expectations and commitments with those things in mind. And you tell enough people so that you know that others know.

3. Conflict – if you are going to treat people in a Godly way how are you going to react when someone insults you in public, cuts across you in traffic or doesn’t let you do something on which you have set your heart?

You make a pre-meditated principled decision to always think the best about people and give them the benefit of the doubt. You undertake to count to 10 before reacting to insults. You decide that it is what God thinks that really matters, not what anyone else thinks. You aim to forgive first and ask questions later. And you tell enough people so that you know that others know.

4. Work – How are you going to react when faced with the temptation to add a few extra miles to your expense claim or the temptation to speak poorly of a colleague competing for a promotion or when faced with the responsibility of firing a poor performer?

You make a pre-meditated principled decision to live your life in accord with Colossians 6:7-9, which tells us to “serve wholeheartedly, as if you were serving the Lord not men … and masters, treat your employees as the Master treats you.” You decide to be honest, to speak well of others, to avoid gossip and to consider people’s well being as well as the bottom line. And you tell enough people so that you know that others know.

So when you face a big decision you have a much better chance of handling it well if you have invested your life in understanding your Kingdom call, getting to know the mind of Jesus, the King and making some decisions in principle well in advance.

MAKING THE DECISION

Sporting analogy: Andrew Strauss, the England cricket captain, has spent years and years batting in cricket teams, training in nets, working out when he should go forward to a ball or when he should play back. And he still practices almost every day. So on 16 December when he actually faces a 90 mph ball from South African fast bowler Wayne Parnell he will make the right decision in that split second.

When you drive up to the roundabout it is too late to get on the phone to someone, it is too late to try and programme the Sat Nav.

What don’t you do at that point in time when a decision is in front of you?
1. Change a long held value or principle;
2. Fly in the face of scripture;
3. Go against the advice of people who have your best interests at heart;
4. Seek astrological direction or read the tea leaves or consult spiritualists or mediums;
5. Retreat into your cave and make a solo decision;
6. Make a decision when major events are happening in your life or when you are full of fear.

What do you do at that point in time when a decision is in front of you?
1. Pray and seek revelation.
We often place great emphasis on this – and rightly so. However, it is should be in the context of advance preparation as I have already described. If a word or prophecy flies in the face of what you have discerned in advance, if it does not align with scripture, if it is at odds with your Kingdom call, if the people you have gathered around you raise an eyebrow then maybe that word needs be held particularly lightly.

2. Understand the money.
If you face a decision with money implications check where your heart is. Jesus said, “Where your treasure, there your heart will be also” Matthew 6:21. Make sure your giving is up to date and that you have reminded yourself that everything you have is on trust from him. “The earth is the Lord’s and everything in it. Psalm 24:1”

3. Use your common sense.
I know that many consider this an oxymoron – sense not being common – but God gave you a brain and if that brain is regularly washed in wisdom then you should be able to trust to your common sense. This is why the advance part is so important. Regular devotions: time reading the bible, worshipping, serving and giving money, will wash your brain and will help ensure that your God-given common sense can be relied on.

4. Exercise faith.
This may sound contradictory, “If I simply exercise faith why do I need to go through all your elaborate preparation and decision–making steps?” I can hear you asking.
Not at all, just because you know what decision you need to make – because you have spent time with Jesus, because you have thought through principles in advance, because you have sought revelation etc – doesn’t mean that decision will be easy. It may still require a big step of faith.

I can think of many decisions in my life when to a greater or lesser degree I have made a risky decision because I knew it was part of God’s Kingdom call on my life. It fitted scripture and my values, it was confirmed by advice from elders and mentors and supported by encouraging words: Going into business on my own, moving to London, moving back from London, planting the church, buying the house we did, supporting Alison so she could be a stay-at-home mother. Some of the biggest faith decisions have been when I have had to confront people in a pastoral role knowing that they could well react badly and cause a real mess.

As we say, faith is spelt r-i-s-k and sometimes that is what is needed when we take decisions.

Going back to our road trip. You can just jump in a car and set off – you will get somewhere. Everyone gets somewhere; it’s just that some people get their on purpose!

When I am driving home from work I hardly think about it. I just climb aboard and head off whichever route takes my fancy.

But when we used to go camping in Italy for our summer holidays we thought about it a lot. We thought about where we wanted to get to, what sort of time we wanted to allocate for the journey, was it one where we wanted to get there as quickly as possible or take our time, have some fun and enjoy the view? Was the car serviced and the tank full? Have we got directions and a map (these days we might invest in a Sat Nav gadget)? We talked with others who had been before and took advice from the holiday company.

Making wise personal decisions

Spend time in advance getting to know Jesus, finding out about your Kingdom calling, immersing yourself in the scriptures and as someone who follows Jesus think ahead about your values and principles.

Then when a decision comes your way pray, ask your friends and leaders for advice, listen for the voice behind you saying, “This is the way” and then decide and if necessary, exercise faith.

The follower of Jesus can make very wise personal decisions.

David Flowers
6 December 2009