Leeds Vineyard

A Walk of Forgiveness 

Over the past year God has taken me on a journey of forgiveness in a way I never expected. For reasons which I can't go into and are irrelevant to some degree, my dad hurt me and my family in ways that we never imagined. He broke our trust and caused immense suffering.  If you had asked me about my dad 12 months ago my response would have been, “I never want to see him and I hate him” and would probably have said I wish he would die. Harsh but that is the reality of where I was. 

I knew I had to forgive and started the process of walking out forgiveness toward him. It was no easy thing but step by step and gradually I came to a place of peace. I forgave him and in my head thought OK but I don't need to spend any time with him. God had different ideas and I started being challenged by the whole concept of honouring your parents.  So another process started of, “What does it mean to honour your parents what does it look like? How can you honour a parent who has wronged and let you down so badly?”

God very graciously led me on a journey of discovering how to honour a parent who in the world’s eyes doesn't deserve it. After several months I came to real place of peace where I was able to say I could honour him as my dad to level that was appropriate. Not long afterwards this was put to the test and we found ourselves in the position as a family where we had to make a decision of seeing dad and being near him. When the time came I found it difficult, yes, nervous, feeling tense but was able to speak to him and be with him.

I feel so grateful to God that although this has been a painful journey I now say with my hand on my heart that I can honour my dad and God is merciful. It's not my place to judge but obey God’s way. 
 
Cyndy Dowling, 10/03/2014